Have you ever felt when one of those days in your life when someone you hate the most, don't even bother lookin' at the most is the person that is actually matters most in your life?

The least expected person is actually now a part of my life.

He my look arrogant, don't bother, poker face all the time but when he speaks he'll make you think with your words and would always wanna debate with him with the slightest things in life. He'd ever say to me "Your life doesn't begins and ends with ME...." It might not sound sweet or romantic to some but isn't it true? I mean when you are crazy in love with someone, gosh! even how wrong he/she did to you, you'll be 'okay' with it and not wanting to face the fact that it is actually wrong and get all emotional and sad about it and waste your tears by crying at night when you worth more than what he/she deserves. It made me think and start to develop my own personality to be independent and learn how to endure my emotions when we are away from each other so as to make a clear note to myself that I AM MY OWN BOSS.

I have now gained confidence in standing up for myself no matter if I'm in the wrong or right. At least I did voice out what I felt and my opinion is been told and felt satisfied and learn from it if it is a mistake. I now need not to be scared of my partner cos' if there were to be fear in a relationship then why am I in it at the first place. He's human and I'm human too. Doesn't mean he's a guy he has more power or say than I do. Probably the way we think is different and to that we need to compromise and come to a common understand and agreement with each other. We are a team. We need to have that kind of thinking starting from now on cos' in marriage every single thing is being shared and there should be a barrier in between. The difference NOW, as in this RELATIONSHIP is about the amount of space given. Now, we have to give each other a lot more space than we thought we would need or give. As long as there's no official relation between us, we are still two different individuals who have a life to lead. I can't make him stop me from having my rights and neither do I. As for now we are still with our different views but make each other understand them and understand ourselves deeper before we could step to the next level of this relationship.

I am thankful to Allah for giving me a chance to love and be loved by someone who is sincere and truthful to me and himself. We had rough and fun times together and ongoing still. We can be rivals, best friends, lovers, companion, buddy all at the same time but no matter what we'll still look for each other and stay on together. I might have made a couple of mistakes here and there, being very whinny, always annoys you and wants your attentions ALL THE TIME but you'd never gave up on me no matte what the situation is, not once.

For all I know now is that I love you very much my dear, I really do.

xoxo,

Aeisha.