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msbakthar on screen
Aisyah Aziz off screen
own ways with simplicity
i'm a BIG fan of YUNA
owns daddy's DL-150
i love to showcase what i've got


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2010-05-27, 1:41 PM


Some thinks she's my sister.
Some thinks that she's still a young teen.
Oh gosh.
Abah is so lucky to have her.
She's a very strong person indeed.
She'e been through a lot in her life.
Lately she's been sick and to know that fact that she's laughing a lot more now lightens up the worrying.
For whatever she cook and done for us at home is something that I will appreciate for the rest of my life.
I want to be like her.
I want to lead my future family like how she did in this family.
It is amazing how she brought me up from a huge heavy bundle of joy to a lollipop stick look-a-like.
You never compare me with any other kids.
You love me and adek equally.
Every time when I come home and standing at the door to come in you will always say "Ehk dah balik?"
Then I will answer back jokingly "Ehk takdelah belum, masih kat MRT nie..."
When you are in the dapur you would go "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Oh Biiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
You call for me so loud I think our neighbours can hear you.
Even in front of my friends you would call me B.
In your eyes I'm always your lil baby girl, kan?
You've yet to take a picture with my giant poster mummy.
Without you, no one will iron my samping, tanjak and costumes nicely.
Without you, I wouldn't have customized Baju Kurung for Hari Raya.
Without you, I wouldn't know how to be a girl.
You've taught me to appreciate life and for whatever God has for us.
I did mistakes in life along the way.
You were there patiently to correct me.
I regret for those days that I made you stress out and broke down.
You have such a fragile heart that even the smallest things can hurt you deeply.
Those days when you sulk when I did something that you dislike I seriously felt helpless.
I start to do house chores seriously and willingly only when I'm 19.
You are really patient with me.
I promise from now onwards I am not gonna leave you with the house chores all by yourself and I am going to say thank you for every small things that you do for the whole family.
To us our mum is like a lil girl.
I love you Mama.

your B.


12:04 PM

Bye Singapore, Honeymoon with the ladies is so gonna be fun.
11th June 2010


11:59 AM

So many things went rushing into my mind thinking of what had probably happened at home the moment mum called asking me to get home quick.
My heart just kept pumping hard than it ever did.
I was worrying along the way and my knees felt weak.
From far I saw my uncles and aunties streaming into my house.
This just doubles up my worries.
Went into the house and settle down for a bit before I could clarify things.
What on Earth had just happened?
Mum called me into her room and she told me everything.
I was pretty much relieve because it was nothing very serious but it is very worrying.
My cutest granddad on Earth is loosing some of himself.
He tend forgrt things and he is not acting as normal.
I'm just afraid that one day he might just forgotten who I am.
He makes jokes that I can really laugh at because he did it in his own way only I understand what he meant.
I am so not ready for anything worst than that to happen.
I know it is unavoidable but then as for now I am just afraid to loose him in anyway.
Every morning he will pretend to sleep after his breakfast and waited for me in his bed for me to say bye to him and inform him that I'm off to school.
He will always praise me whenever I dress nicely to school.
He will praise me for being so nice when I'm off to work.
He will smile from ear to ear when he sees me in tudung.
He will say "Wah Siti Aisyah.....Abah ingat Ustazah mana lah tadi....."
He will always call me by my full name Siti Aisyah.
I'm truly proud of that name.
I think by calling me that just reminds him of his late sister.
We share the same name.
I miss him a lot even if we are staying in the same house.
He would wake up in the middle of the night just to check if I'm home yet.
There's once he woke up and waited for me to finish up my super late dinner when everyone else is fast asleep.
I'm really touched.
Sometimes I regret being too busy and forgot all about him.
He would story tell at times about how my great-grand-dad who is an Arab from Yemen came to Singapore and settled down at the Istana Kampong Glam residential area in the past.
He would tell us his experience at Mecca with late granny.
He will wake up in the wee hours to solat and mengaji softly in his room.
I'm very proud to be his grand-daughter.
I hope that if anything happens, be it good or bad, I'm there for him throughout.

Siti Aisyah.


2010-05-20, 9:54 PM

Hate to think about what to wear for school tomorrow


3:59 PM


3:52 PM

I'm sorry if I'm being to harsh on you but I just can't keep things anymore.
You know how much I dislike you are being right now.
Still I accept you because I love you.
We grow up together and to see you not being what you used to is a major heart pain for me.
I think I cared too much for you when you already have someone special to give you much care.
I've been keeping this deep down for too long to the extend of bursting.
I just burst once in a while.
When we meet, I'm sure things are gonna be alright.
I missed you and the only way I can see you is to meet up.
That only happens like what, once in a blue-moon?
Why would I be searching for you if I don't bother?
Did you ever think about it?
I felt like as if I don't exist.
Well, I've lost 2 friends that I've shared my love and care with all my heart.
I just can't accept the fact if we were to become strangers.
I seriously don't wanna loose you.
I had enough.
I've learnt from my history.

your lil' girl.


2010-05-17, 11:31 PM

Doing my regular journal writing using the main PC in the hall.
Everybody is asleep now and I'm always the only person left awake.
Mum is not doing too good lately.
She's been having that itchiness and difficulty to sleep again.
She can't a lot of things and been trying many different kind of supplements but nothing seems to be working.
I felt helpless.
All I can do is to help around in the house and attend to her when she calls for me.
When she's happy, she will really laugh and smile.
But when she's upset and has no mood, she will really be very emotional.
I just don't know what else to do.
As much as possible I want to see her happy and live life as per normal.
Get her things like ice-cream, McDonald meals, family time, mother daughter chat and just simply watch TV with her just to hear her laugh.
It breaks my heart to see her cry because of the itch and red scratches all over her body.
Even the doctors have nothing to conclude after every check-ups that she went for the past months.
First it was the cough.
Now this.
Worried day and night.
But one thing for sure is that I can see the family bonding between us are getting better than ever before.
Looking on the brighter side of it I am treasuring every single moment of it.
We just had Swensen's for dinner the other day celebrating Mother's Day cum Mama's 46th Advance Birthday celebration.
The whole family loves it and we definitely had fun.
Mama and abah are like teen couples that day.
We had Earthquake for dessert and it sure brings back the old times way before baby bro was around.
I hope that mama would stay strong throughout and never give up.
Always stay positive no matter what.
She have the whole lot of us to stand by her side.
Sometimes such things doesn't have to be too obvious to notice.
It just comes naturally.

your only Daughter.


1:28 PM


10:46 AM


2010-05-16, 11:05 PM


10:29 PM


10:08 PM

I might not be like the other girls out there with makeup and nice dresses
but I'll always be the Greek goddess in my own ways.


2010-05-15, 7:41 PM


2010-05-13, 1:56 PM


10:17 AM


2010-05-11, 11:11 AM

9th May 2010
It is certainly a day to remember.
We went through shit & awesome days way before this.
One after another.
We grew stronger each day we meet.
It nearly didn't happened due to some problems.
Those lovely men are always there to push us through.
At times we might hate them but without realizing they are actually helping us to be better.
Be thankful to them.
Without them there's no us.
Know your roots and know where you stand before this.
Don't get too high up in the sky because once you fall, you'll gonna get hurt really bad.
Whatever results we get be thankful to it because there's always reasons behind it.
Ladies, please be humble.
Ladies, please don't be too satisfied with what we've achieved.
Ladies, we still have a very long way to go.
To reach to the top is difficult.
To stay there is double the work.
Each time we achieve, the greater the responsibility is and the greater the expectations are.
May 2010 be a year for us to be proud of and remember.
Another chapter in Endang's history.

Selembut Sutera Kekata Ninda Lemah Gemalai Endang Bersuara



2010-05-07, 7:34 AM
Red Cheeks♥

Red Cheeks♥

Window shopping was fun but
SHOPPING is really double the fun.
I can't seem to find what I really wanted yesterday.
Very frustrating.
Bf had to leave in the evening after IP MAN 2 so I did some brief shopping after that.
I think I have to go somewhere today to really satisfy my heart.
Where can I find that bloody top and bottom?!


2010-05-04, 7:50 PM

I didn't realize it either


2010-05-02, 10:07 PM

It's tomorrow


9:43 PM