Red Cheeks♥

2011-11-08T21:57:00.002+08:00

Somehow somewhere sometimes I just need to express myself in my own way.

I miss doing what I used to do.

Just by doing something small and noticeable is enough for me.

Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about me.

Just a simple message will do but lately................

Sometimes we take things for granted and overlooked on the smallest things that made others smile and feel appreciated.

I just miss you.

xoxo,

aeisha.

2011-11-04T23:14:00.003+08:00

And again I bought a new Buffalo Diary and a red polka dot drawer for my desk that's full of my junks that I prolly need along the way. Somehow I felt that things are going wild in my room lately as I want it to be like my personal art room but for some reasons I have to hold back all that as this house belongs to my dad. Anything I do must seek for his permission before I could carry on. I got myself this nice picture of ON AIR & an old camera which looks vintage. I just cant wait to hang my art piece on my white plain wall. I love the way my room is as it looks like a studio with plain backgrounds and you can take picture everywhere in the room and it still looked studio-ish. Can't wait to get more Polaroid films and go on snapping great moments with family and love. I have a lot of imaginations and ideas to have my expression expressed but there's some things that hinders me to do so. People, money, time and mood. I'm planning to have things in my room done bit by bit. When I'm in my room, I felt like as if I'm in my own theater, own drama, own world. If only the walls can speak, they would have 1001 stories to tell.

My world.

2011-10-29T20:08:00.003+08:00

Hi all!

It had been awhile since I last post anything and I almost lost touch on how to blog.

HAHAHAHA.

Well things had been awesome and great lately.

Gf got married and she's off sailing her marriage life.

As for me, well, I'm still me.

Moving on with life and going on with my dreams ahead me.

I have my love to cover up all the lonely days without my gf.

He was there, always there for me.

I'd asked him if he could be my bestfriend, he said he had always been.

Sweet.

I know.

I love you, Gf & Bf.

2011-05-22T21:57:00.009+08:00

Tanjak on, Celak set........

Been looking forward for the first Saturday off day.

I felt so free and enjoying the my Saturday well.

Congratulations! Awok-awok Terbaik paid off their hard work over the week.

Met some of my hot babes there and did some catching ups.

Look at that shagggggg face; HAHAHAHAHA.

Dinner at Adam's Corner ends the day.

xoxo,

aeisHa`B

2011-05-15T22:38:00.007+08:00

To me:

When boys go to NS they turn into a Man;

but when girls graduate they turn into a WOMAN.

xoxo,

aiesHa`B

2011-05-15T21:41:00.003+08:00

We when through rough times together and helped each other out in many ways. We shed tears along the way facing difficulties of different levels. Love were felt without having to say it out loud to each other. Some of our belongings are the same and we spare some pocket money to make the other smile. I was there for her on her engagement day and now preparing for her big day will be an awesome one. My tears just can't stop rolling down my cheek thinking about how much we shared just to survive our life each day. Hearing each other out was one of favorite thing to do. She's the first ever friend that actually went for a holiday with my family. I learnt a lot from her as I seek advise most of the time. She has such great courage to face life and every obstacle and she deserve every bit of happiness in life. Even if I don't get to meet her as often now, just by looking at her FB profile will keep me updated of her where being and I'm sure she'll be in good hands of her fiancé a.k.a future hubby. I was hoping she could stayed longer that day to take more pictures together and hug her really tight with our robes but too bad she had to leave for something really important. I know the fact that we can go out and do some catching ups along the way but it will definitely not be the same anymore like how we did in school moreover she's gonna get hitch in a few months time and she will have greater responsibility ahead her. She watched me 'grow' and saw every bitter and sweet moments I had along the way. I might have got her hurt with my words along the way and didn't even realize it. I would like to seek apology from you dear one if ever I hurt you with my words or actions throughout the years of knowing you. If ever I did, I swear I never meant it. For a friend like you should be cherish and appreciated. For some reason I won't really put a duo picture as display pictures in my FB profile but if once I start putting duo pictures as my display picture it means that he/she really meant something in my life and deserve to be featured in my profile somehow. I know its 'weird' but that's how I do it.

Dear Nur Liyana Bte Jamaludin,

If you are reading this I would like to dedicate this post specially for you. I just want you to know how much I cherish you as the greatest friend ever and I love you very much. I mean it. I would like to thank you for being there for me all this while to go through every shit together. Those FYPs and lunch times we had in school will always be kept as great memories. If ever I did hurt you in anyway or not be able to be there for you in times that you need me, I would like to extend my most sincere apologies to you. I do hope that we could really stay as how we are now as for as long as we live. Other then my love ones, you are a part of my life and without you I won't be the here graduating together with you. Thank you for all the sacrifices that you've made along the way and I will always pray for your happiness and well-being and may Allah protect you from any dangers and obstacles. Insyallah. Amin. Now & still counting.......

xoxo,

your aeisHa`B.

*gosh I can't stop tearing*

2011-05-02T19:58:00.001+08:00

BECAMAN ROCKS!

but my Batman is AWESOME <3

2011-04-27T23:42:00.003+08:00

2011-04-24T20:24:00.003+08:00

Like I said, we'll go through this together.

ily:)

fridge & camera date.

23/04/11

2011-03-21T20:43:00.002+08:00

Kalau sudah berdengki, apa jua perbuatan orang yang baik mahu pun yang buruk pasti dikutuk, dihina dan dicaci. Sesungguhnya Allah itu Maha Adil lagi Maha Penyayang. Orang sebegini hanya cemburu akan kesenangan orang lain kerana dia sendiri tidak mampu untuk mendapatkan kesenangan tersebut. Ia tidak akan dibawa kemana perangai hasad dengki itu. Aku amat kasihan dengan manusia yang penuh dengan kebencian. Adakah kebencian itu akan membuahkan hasil? Adakah kebencian itu akan membuat anda lebih berkuasa atau dihormati dan disegani? Sudah tentu anda tahu jawapannya. Sedangkan Hindun yang cuba untuk menelan hati Saidina Hamzah, "Singa Allah", kerana benci dan hasad dengki yang mendalam akhirnya dapat mengapuskan sifat buruknya itu, apatah lagi kita manusia biasa yang tanpa pangkat atau darjat. Sedarlah diri sebelum terlambat. Tidak berkat hidup mendengki. Kerana itu lah tiada kebahagiaan diberi kepada mu oleh yang Maha Esa. Sudah berbulan lamanya, masih tidak jemu-jemu untuk mengeluarkan kata-kata yang kesat lagi menhina. Selagi masih ada lagi masa lebih baik dihentikan dari menyesal di hari kemudian.

Peringatan buat diri sendiri dan juga orang-orang yang mengerti.

2011-03-14T23:01:00.001+08:00

cemburu buta takkan bawa kita kemana

2011-03-14T20:38:00.002+08:00

Macam itik pulang petang,

Dia jalan melanggang,

Bibirnya merah bak delima merekah,

Kain tinggi sebelah,

Betis nya membayang.......

itu Dia Nona Singapura.......

2011-03-04T23:03:00.002+08:00

Earlier during lunch I had lunch with Rohani and we slack around in the R Cube room and there we start on our own stories . She had baby carrots for munching and she showed some rabbit pictures that she found at a park near her place. Then the topic went into pets and there's where the hilarious story starts. She was like telling me that her dad used to have fishes for pets and had 2 fish tank full. Then his dad's hobby starts to fade and let go some to the rivers and longkangs. Some died along the way and some commit suicide. Yeah, you heard me right. The fish actually jump out of the tank and came landing on the floor and her mum has to pick it up and put it back in the tank. HAHAHAHAH. I was like laughing out loud in the room. Another story was about a hamster, her friend's. That morning her friend was in a good mood and she went to the hamster and say "Good Morning!" out loud. I think it was so freaking loud that it actually shocked the hamster so much that it died an hour later. I think the hamster was on severe stress and severe panic attack. I was laughing my lungs out and at the same time kesian the hamster so much. Hamster dah tua rupa nyer........

2011-03-04T21:16:00.002+08:00

Looking at tonight's Anugerah I can say it was really drama.

Kinda irritating especially when some were really 'drama' in real life.

Gosh, relax lah. Anugerah only what. Pengiktirafan...

What I'm looking forward was only for the Anugerah Emas which is being awarded to S.Shamsudin.

Pak Sudin, I really a big big fan of yours.

I shall pray for your health and rest well as what you've given to the TV world is something that can't be replaceable by anyone because there's only ONE S.Shamsudin in the TV industry.

Terima Kasih Pak Sudin :)

2011-03-01T21:19:00.001+08:00

2011-02-27T23:54:00.000+08:00

2011-02-20T21:19:00.001+08:00

365 days of loving and still counting

Initially it there were not plans made as leave wasn't being approved yet.

Later that morning, I got a message asking do I wanna got shopping.

I said I don't wanna go out alone that's for sure.

Then he was like "I fetch you at 4pm k?"

My eyes were shining looking at the message received.

That instant I've decided to make some home-made ondeh-ondeh as promised.

Made it quickly and get ready before time.

At 4pm he was at the carpark waiting for me.

I pop in car and he was like "Waaaah....lawa lah dier....."

I blushed, definitely.

We head to town to have some window shopping.

Unfortunately it was raining and we had to wait for awhile for the rain to stop.

We went for more window shopping and we had dinner at Far East.

Then he said "My plans will only start 7pm onwards...."

After dinner we head to some place where I was kept unknown.

Its a surprise.

We had to go through this long stretch of road that is kinda freaky and dark.

I was kinda worried but at the same time excited.

And JENG JENG JENG....we are at Punggol Prawning Pool!

I've always wanted to go prawning as I thought it would be a fun thing to do as couple other than just movie and eat out you know.

Something different I must say and moreover I love prawns, especially the freshly caught once.

It was sweet, definitely sweet I must say.

We end up fishing out 9 prawns in total and I get to bring them home!

I personally felt that we got even closer each day and not only as my lover but we are bestfriends and great listeners to each other.

I do hope us to continue this way.

Maintain a healthy relationship and hoping the best for our future.

Let's make this happen my dear.

Insyallah.

ASYHLVNFS

"Kita hanya boleh merancang tetapi hanya Tuhan saja yang dapat menentukan segalanya"

2011-02-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

Sejak kebelakangan ini aku asyik berfikir bila masa aku bersendirian di dalam kamar ku. Banyak yang aku fikirkan. Kadang-kadang akan terlintas di fikiran ku kata-kata pujangga yang ku buat sendiri untuk menyedarkan diriku. Bermacam-macam topik yang akan ku fikirkan. Kebanyakkannya adalah tentang kehidupan. Jika aku dalam kesusahan aku akan sentiasa mengikatkan diri aku bahawa Tuhan tidak akan menguji Hamba Nya lebih dari kemampuan Hamba Nya itu sendiri dan jika aku fikir yang diri ini dalam kesusahan yang amat dan hampir berputus asa aku akan mengingatkan diri ini bahawa ada orang yang lebih susah dari ku dan diuji lebih oleh Tuhan. Surah Al-Insyirah akan menjadi teman ku di setiap solat ku dan doa ku. Ia adalah salah satu surah kegemaran ku yang dapat memberi ketenangan kepada diri ini. Dada ku rasa lapang dan tenang dan diri ini akan mula dapat menerima suatu kesusahan itu dengan redha dan rela hati. Aku percaya setiap datangnya kesusahan itu akan datang kesenangan nya juga. Segala ujian kehidupan datang dari Nya yang Maha Esa, berdoa adalah satu-satu nya jalan untuk meminta kepada Nya. Ia harus juga diiringi dengan usaha, sabar dan hati yang cekal. Surah Yassin adalah salah satu surah kegemaran ku yang dapat meredahkan kemarahan, kesedihan, kerunsingan yang dialami. Ia juga salah satu cara untuk meminta perlindungan dari Nya. Kesedaran diri juga penting untuk menjauhkan diri dari riak kerana riak adalah sesuatu yang boleh menjatuhkan diri sendiri dalam apa juah sekali pun. Kesedaran diri juga boleh mendekatkan diri kita dengan Nya yang Maha Pengasih dan Penyayang. Aku sedar akan diri ini yang penuh dengan dosa dan hamba yang hina, sesungguhnya dengan cara ini aku dapat bertaubat pada Nya dan mohon keampunan yang tak terhingga mudah-mudahan dosa-dosa ku diampuni Nya dan terima taubat ku. Jangan pernah lokek dengan doa. Doa ku untuk yang tersayang dan yang tercinta tidak akan ku lupa. Mudah-mudahan doa-doaku dapat dimakbulkan oleh Nya. Insyaalah yang terbaik untuk yang terbaik.

2011-01-21T09:12:00.002+08:00

I'm honoured to receive the Malay Heritage of Singapore book from you Mr. President.

Thank you Sir.

One of my proudest moments ever experienced.

Thanks to my 2 beloved Idols to allow me to do the honor.

I do hope that made Mama & Abah proud again this time round.

One in a million chance to meet Mr. President & there was it.

Not to brag but I'm still not over with the feeling yet.

Hehehehehehehe.

http://cyberita.asia1.com.sg/msingapura/story/0,6879,180488,00.html?

xoxo,

aeisHa`B.

2010-12-26T00:56:00.003+08:00

Akhir-akhir ni aku rasa pelik keatas diriku. Pelik dalam segi perangai dan perasaan. Mungkin ini semua perubahan dalam diri ku yang semakin dewasa. Aku penat berfikir akan apa orang akan cakap tenteng aku di belakang ku. Aku rasa aku tidak mempunyai hak untuk tutup mulut mereka kerana mereka berhak bersuara seperti aku. Aku ini sudah tidak peduli lagi tentang perasaan orang yang tidak merasa akan perasaan aku. Yang penting perasaan keluargaku dan orang tersayang ku yang penting buat masa ini. Aku mahu tumpu kan kepada masa depan ku dan aturnya dengan baik. Kita yang merancang, Dia yang menentukan segalanya. Memang benar kata mu itu, aku harus lebih tumpu kan perhatianku pada kehidupan ku. Terima kasih akan kata-kata mu itu. Aku tidak memerlukan orang-orang yang suka menindas orang lain akan kepentingan diri sendiri. Dengar tak untung, tak dengar tak rugi. Ada tak untung, tak ada tak rugi. Pengorbanan seseorang insan itu tidak perlu dipuji. Selagi Tuhan itu Maha Mengetahui, biar Tuhan sahaja membalas nya. Biar orang buat kita, jangan kita pula yang buat orang. Sedar akan kesilapan sendiri sebelum menunding jari ke orang lain. Aku sedar akan diri aku yang hina, yang penuh dengan kesilapan yang aku sendiri tidak dapat melihat. Mungkin ada baik nya aku berdiam diri dari mengata orang kerana ia tidak akan membawa ke titik penyelesaian sama sekali. Aku menulis ini untuk sering memberi peringatan pada diri sendiri, bukan pada orang. Semoga aku dapat menjadi insan yang lebih baik dan sempurna dengan kesedaran atas diri sendiri.

Selamat Malam.

aeisHa`B.

2010-12-22T15:21:00.002+08:00

Sejak kebelakangan ini aku sering menulis di dalam diari bunga-bunga ku itu. Aku sendiri tak tahu mengapa tetapi aku rasa itu lah cara nya untuk aku meluahkan perasan ku. Segala-galanya....tiada siapa yang tahu, tiada siapa pun yang terluka. Lapisan muka surat di dalam buku itu ajalah yang mengetahui. Lapisan-lapisan itu tak membantah, tak menangis, tak marah, tak tersenyum, tak ketawa...mereka sedia memberi dada untukku coretkan segala. Tak perlu aku memikirkan apa-apa. Kadang-kala aku ingin bersendirian, bermuhasabah diri. Aku rasa itu adalah satu-satu nya cara untuk aku cari ketenteraman jiwa. Ini semua lumrah kehidupan. Bukan aku seorang saja yang hadapi nya. Orang lain pun begitu juga. Masing-masing.......

2010-12-18T18:20:00.002+08:00

2010-12-13T22:08:00.005+08:00

Hidup ini bukan semudah yang kita sangkakan. Aku tidak pernah terfikir tentang kehidupan di zaman remaja ku. Terasa diri ini belum lagi matang untuk hadapi semua ini. Setelah umur ku menjejak ke alam 20-an, aku baru sedar akan semua yang telah ku lalui bersama keluarga, rakan-rakan dan orang disekeliling ku. Mujur lah aku ditemukan dengan seorang pemuda yang agak matang dan sudah lalui pahit manis kehidupan yang lebih mencabar dari yang aku sangkakan. Aku berasa amat bertuah dengan kehadirannya. Banyak yang telah aku pelajari dari nya dan beliau telah membuat ku faham akan erti kehidupan yang sebenar. Selama ini Mama selalu pesan, kenal hati budi orang tu baru kita kenal siapa dia yang sebenar. Aku tak pernah faham akan kata-kata ibu ku itu, tapi setelah menemuinya aku rasa aku lebih dari mengerti.

Aku selalu mengingatkan diri ku bahawa dalam menjalani kehidupan ini ia seperti roda yang berputar, kadang kita akan berada di atas dan kadang tu pula kita akan berada di bawah. Masa kita kat bawah tu baru kita tau langit tu tinggi atau rendah, jadi kita sebagai seorang manusia mesti selalu bersyukur dan sedar akan diri sendiri supaya kalau kita berada di atas kita tidak akan lupa diri.

aeisHa`B.

2010-12-06T09:22:00.004+08:00

Me, mama and abah had loads of fun yesterday.

We sent off adik, Iman and Nenek to the bus terminal at Lavender to BALEK KAMPONG!!

How I wish I could follow them but too bad there's school and FYP assessment this coming week end.

After waving goodbye and the hangloose sign to adik *HAHAHAHA, inside joke* me, mama and abah head to Mustafa Center to go for some window shopping.

Its been awhile since we last when there as a family.

I miss those days.

Showed abah the iTouch that I've been longing for just to update him with the technology advancements that had been going on.

Mama bought some Pashminas for herself.

We then had our lunch at the food stall nearby the Mustafa, I forgot the name but it was sure SOOOODAAAP!

I had Nan meal and Cappthi for both mama and abah.

We then head to Geylang taking the circle line; our virgin ride together.

Surveyed some toilet bowls and we head to Pasar Geylang and TKC.

Had light snack at Hajjah Maimunah and abah asked me to take a picture of him with the Danger sign. *shake head* Abah...abah....

We took 67 considering where to head next and Beach Rd was our choice.

There were so many men and so many stuff to look at.

Even a broken iPhone, literally broken iPhone. *ikot kan hati nak ajer aku beli abeh jual kat luar*

All this jalan-jalan makes me miss babybro even more and at the same time I get to be the only child for the week! WUHOO!

xoxo,

missbakthar.

2010-11-29T10:02:00.002+08:00

2010-10-26T10:53:00.001+08:00

2010-10-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

2010-10-07T22:28:00.002+08:00

surprises & randomness can be nice once in awhile

2010-10-05T01:13:00.002+08:00

2010-10-05T00:47:00.000+08:00

I'll be lying if I said I don't really want all the above.

I'm a girl, what can I do about it?

It's by nature I'm like that.

But to think again, I can't be having them all the time.

Cos it will not be special anymore if it happens often.

Once in a freaking blue moon, why not?

Teeheehee <3

2010-10-02T00:36:00.002+08:00

like those F1 cars speeding....vvvvrrrroomm...

2010-10-02T00:28:00.001+08:00

2010-10-01T00:20:00.000+08:00

Its late night and it is already past my bed time.
I am now still working on my FYP log book and updates for team members to make their follow-ups.
And also I have some personal admin to do before school and work starts.
Hari raya's gonna be over soon and I better buck up for the new semester.
Adding to that there's Reflection to work on to and competitions coming up.
Breath in and out baby.
Love had his new phone today, iPhone 4 babe!
I'm waiting patiently for my BB and I hope it is coming.
If not, then I will have to just be happy with deary E63 then.
Somewhat I had a great plus sucky September altogether.
Hope October will be nice to me.
All I need now is discipline, determination and strength in order to make everything work well.
I have to give my best shot for my Oct, Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb.....4 months and I will be free! (Insyallah)
With all my busy-ness I do hope I didn't leave anything behind or left out like family quality time, heart-to-heart session with girlfriends and understanding my other half's emotions and love.
I know I have been saying this for the 9839453845612873198741921295301456 times, but I am so gonna keep reminding myself again and again so that I will always be reminded and make me realise quick enough before disaster comes.
BUCK UP BABY BUCK UP!
Let's put on the spirit and give shall give my all out before the real world comes in.
Good Night World.
Sleep tight Moon.
Sweet dreams Stars.

xoxo,
aeisha.

2010-09-27T16:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was something new that happened in my life.

Thanks for coming girls.

I'm sure he miss the rest of the girls too.

2010-09-19T21:29:00.000+08:00

Maroon maroon maroon....

Yesterday was fun even if it was only around Bedok area.

We head to kedai Ibu to 'fetch' the car.

While on our way;

Mrs. :	Wah dah pandai pakai minyak wangi sey....
Mr. :	Oh of course.
Mrs. :	What number?
Mr. :	Number 7, cause I know you like it...
Mrs. :	Awww....

*Long sniff* Wangi nyer.......
Anyways,
BEDOK oi!
But the best thing was I get to drive around, wuhoo!
While waiting for Tok & wifey,

Me :	Alaaaa....cannot stick properly.
Fis :	Dah terbukak lah sayang, you look fake!
Me :	Alaaaa....bukan selalu sey dapat pakai benda ni.
Fis :	Takper lah sayang, bukak jer. Natural is beauty. I don't need all this, nice try k sayang. You look alot better without them.
Me:	Really?

His hands brushed through my hair when he said that.
I'm touched actually, heeee....
So I threw away those lashes and cover up with fresh eyeliner and mascara.
It was a manual car and my manual skills like karat already and it took me awhile to adjust to the car.
It was getting late and I was trying to park the car, suddenly the car stall and the engine just went off and I was unable to restart it back again.
Panic skejap, kereta bapak orang oi! Saper tak takot.
I pull up the hand break and let bf give it a try to revive it back again.
Attempt fail.
Dalam otak nie macam-macam aku pikir tau.
Like some say "What are friends for...." kan.
So, the macho people in Baju Melayu tolak the car around the carpark area to try start the car.
Aku tengok muka si Apis dah stress, aku keep cool thinking of a way.
We planned to go to Tok's house but then it went off again just when we were about to leave te he car park.
The car had to be pushed again and we head straight home before the car die again in the middle of the road.
Ayah try to fix the car and see what was wrong and I flag a cab and head home.
If only I could stay longer, I really don't mine but too bad I have curfews.
Wash up and ate supper.

And he said "Thank you....."
Your welcome my dear.

xoxo,
msbakthar.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-09-13T00:40:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

Raya ketiga, Si Dia datang bertandang untuk beraya.

Hanya Tuhan sajalah yang tahu bertapa riangnya hatiku ini.

Syawal kali ini bagaikan mimpi.

Kenangan manis sekali.

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-09-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

Even if not all of us are around it is still meriah.

Kan? Kan? Kan?

2010-09-11T23:57:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya to all.

On the first day of Raya we as a family didn't go anywhere except for my uncle's place to visit Nenek and Atok from Melaka.

Dad's side will usually come over to meet granddad but this year, not everybody's around.

Shan was in the hospital yesterday.
Baby Shan get well soon k? Later Aunty Siti visit you real soon.
Didn't snap much picture yesterday cause I am really not in the mood to camwhore.
Deary had to work on first Syawal, damn that sucks.
And again we are going no where today.
I heard someone wants to come over tomorrow. Uuuuuuu.....
Don't get too excite and don't expect anything aight.
Baru planning jer cik kak oi.
I am getting very very restless and I think I should just sleep it off now.
Night night.

xoxo,
msbakthar.

2010-09-03T18:25:00.001+08:00

Udang Butter Berkuah

Bahan-bahan:

Udang
Mentega
2 biji Bawang Merah
3 biji Bawang Putih
Halia, sebesar ibu jari
5 biji Cili Padi
Daun Kari
Sekotak Santan
4 biji putih telur
Garam

* Bawang Merah, Bawang Putih, Halia dikisar.
* Cili Padi dihiris sahaja.

Cara-cara:

1. Panaskan minyak dan mentaga, goreng udang hingga bertukar warna. Selesai mengoreng, ketepikan udang.
2. Dengan campuran minyak dan mentega tadi, tumiskan cili padi, daun kari dan bahan-bahan yang dikisar seperti bawang merah, bawang putih dan halia. Tumis hingga hampir kering.
3. Masukkan garam dan santan. Gaul rata.
4. Masukkan putih telur dan gaul hingga kuah menjadi pekat.
5. Akhir sekali masukkan udang yang telah digoreng tadi dan gaul rata.
6. Padamkan api dan boleh dihidang.

Selamat mencuba!

2010-09-03T14:01:00.000+08:00

Ramadhan kali ini berbeza sekali dari tahun-tahun yang sudah.

Kalau tahun-tahun yang sudah banyak airmata ku curahkan atas sebab dugaan yang menimpa.

Banyak sekali cabaran hidup yang ku hadapi yang aku tidak mahu ketemu lagi.

Tahun ini aku memulakan hidup baru bersama orang baru, suasana baru, umur yang lebih dewasa dan keluarga yang semakin erat dari tahun-tahun yang sudah.

Walaupun aku tidak dapat menunaikan Solat Terawih seperti tahun-tahun yang sudah sekurang-kurang nya aku dapat juga membuat kebaikan yang lain tahun ini.
Ku tidak mengharapkan balasan sekadar dapat memberi kesedaran pada diriku sudah mencukupi.
Insyallah dengan izin Allah aku berharap dapat bertemu Ramadhan lagi pada tahun hadapan.

xoxo,
msbakthar.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-09-03T12:47:00.001+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

I know I am not like other girls who are as mature as their age;

I don't know why but I guess I'm just different.

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-09-02T22:04:00.002+08:00

2010-08-27T20:50:00.002+08:00

2010-08-26T16:19:00.000+08:00

eyes hurt real damn bad

2010-08-26T15:40:00.001+08:00

Pulanglah; Aishah.

Sayang
Di hari yang mulia ini
Ku pohon keampunan
Hanya satu yang ku pinta
Pulanglah

Termenung ku sendiri
Memendam rindu tidak menentu
Kasih suci murni yang kita bina
Hapus hancur oleh kata fitnah

Di pagi hari raya
Hati sayu mengenang rindu
Mudahnya kau menggantikan diriku
Seolah cintaku tak berharga

Apakah suratan
Aidilfitri satu titik akhir
Sekian lama bercinta
Kau tiada di hari mulia

2010-08-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

EPIC FAIL BIG TIME

2010-08-26T05:40:00.001+08:00

16 Ramadhan

Why must the day ended this way?

What was I thinking?

What just happened?

I numb just when numb, NUMB.

I don't know where my head went and what my heart tell.

They can't coordinate at all.

What have I done?

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AISYAH?

How can you ever make things right?

WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING DUMB?

I've admit, I've apologized but I don't think its enough to heal a very disappointed heart.

I'll get down on my knee begging for forgiveness.

I may know my limits I may know my stand but not the rest.

How am I suppose to tell them?

I am really really stuck in the middle.
Why can't I reject it when I have all the rights to do so and when there's no slightest intention of me to do anything like that?
I want to avoid this shit, badly.
Please don't leave me in anyway.
Without you I can't hold on to anything.
WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO NOW?
My eyes just won't stop tearing.
Berserabot nyer otak aku nie.
I can't breath properly, gosh.
Kau diberi akal syah untuk berfikir, kenapa kau bebal sangat?
Kenapa kau lembek sangat?
Kenapa?

Ya Allah aku bermohon sesungguhnya hamba mu ini amat lemah sangat. Ku mohon agar kau berikan ku petunjuk untuk meleraikan keadaan ini. Amin. :'(

xoxo,
msbakthar.

2010-08-14T00:06:00.000+08:00

3rd Ramadhan.
Today marks the last day of the first semester and luckily today was FoodTech.
Awesome class with awesome people and facilitator.
The Cikgu Baba. *aku suka bila dia cakap melayu, macam air*
We learn something useful and had fun all in one day.
And today is the first time I played FB games after so long.
All thanks to Jess and Rarah. *now I'm like baking some cakes in Baking Life*
There's always a kid in everyone.
I am sure gonna miss this bunch of people as I felt like we are family.
I wonder who will I be with for the next semester.
Don't need to change class can?
While having fun abah call up to update me with his lung appointment with the doctor and he was referred to NUH for further testings and observations.
Kinda worried for the whole day but I know that things are gonna be all right.
Rushed home and mama and abah were home already before break fast.
Thank god.
Got out again to get some food for break fast since mama was too tired to even cook and never allow me to do the honor.
Precious was pretty quite today. *ssshhh...orang kerja shift tidur, kesian dia....*
How I wish I could meet you today but we must follow the "not-meeting-till-25th-for-raya-shopping-and-buka" rule.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Sahur-ing at 5am and working BV tomorrow.
Night night people!

xoxo,
msbakthar.

2010-08-12T23:48:00.001+08:00

2010-08-12T23:19:00.002+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

2010-08-12T22:38:00.001+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

2nd Ramadhan.

School was normal and I felt tenang jer.

Cold weather and air-conditioned school just made us shiver more than usual to generate heat.

Stayed back after school for awhile for a short session of script reading.

Rush home to break fast with the family without baby bro around.

His out for his last few trainings for the up coming YOG Opening.

Mum had a slight asthma in the afternoon, how I wish I could just head home earlier to prepare for break fast.

After solat, set up the lappy in the living room and start typing my RJ.

Precious randomly texted; "Nari ada bulan sabit and stars :)"

And again; "Tonight got a lot of stars....."
Star gazing without me again.
Tengah-tengah laut atas boat pulak tu.

Ya Allah, semoga kau dapat menerima ibadah puasa ku pada hari ini.

Ya Allah, Jadikan lah hari ini lebih baik dari semalam dan esok akan menjadi lebih baik dari hari ini.

Amin.

xoxo,

msbakthar.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-08-11T18:51:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

1st Ramadhan.

Tonight is just gonna be the two of us Abah.

Mama Abah, give your best support to Baby Brother k?

Baby Brother, give your best shot!

I'm supporting you from home.

HAPPY YOG-ing!

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-08-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

Happy 23rd Precious

For about 2 years that I've known you and almost 6 months together this is the first time I made you something special from the bottom of my heart.

I'm glad that you'd enjoy the dinner and those gifts.

The G Shock and the One Drop.

To tell you the truth I was touched when you put up the wide smile on your face.

Dinner was awesome isn't it?

We shall go there again some time.

That mango egg yolk thingy still lingers in my throat. I like!

After the birthday dinner we head to meet Ibu & Ayah & the rest of the family for the bunga api!

But unfortunately, we get to watch it on the Ion screen sahaja.

We still make our way to Raffles to meet the rest and enjoy the rest of the night.

Sorry ehk ibu, I pinjam abang kejaaaaaap jer.

We head to Mustafa for a light supper and had a mini parking lesson from ayah.

Then its time for ME to head home *dari dulu sampai sekarang selalu kalau keluar aku yang kene balek dulu*

I like the way you tried so hard to get a cab for me to head home asap.

That's the reason why I need you and depend on you. *I mean not literally only for cabs lah*

You took me as your responsibility.

It shows how much you cherish me.

I'm glad to have you sweetheart.

Hope you enjoy every single moment with me on your 23rd.

At least you get to celebrate it with both your parents and me all in one day.

Nice.

I'll pray for you to be a wiser man, responsible son and as lovable as you've always been my dear.

I love you bintang hati ku.

Happy 23rd once again.

Abg :	Dah 23. Dah tua, dah nak kawin.
Ibu :	Looking at me Aisyah nak kawin dengan abang tak?
Me :	gulp, blushing like nobody's business (__Must I answer that now?__) teheehee...Ibu nie malu lah Aisyah. Teheehee...
Abg :	Any girl would answer yes jokingly
Ibu :	Eeee, prasan. Aisyah, Ibu tanya nie. Aisyah nak kawin dengan abang tak?
Me :	Mestilah nak....... (SUMPAH AKU MALU NAK JAWAB!)

xoxo,
msbakthar.

2010-08-08T15:56:00.001+08:00

Yesterday was fun.

I make new friends, Nadhirah and Elizabeth and that 'nigga'.

They are sure cool people and very funny.

I'm glad that I could blend well.

Head to kedai ibu early in the morning and help a bit. *teeeheeehee*

(Tak nak lah tolong sembarangan, nanti salah tolong lain pulak jadinyer. Lain kali I buat betol-betol ehk....)

Then I get to drive Ford for a while and then we head to Kallang Leisure Park to catch The Last Airbender.

Not bad not bad, gonna catch the next one if theres any.

Then head for dinner at shisha at eeerrrrrmmm.....what was the name again??

I just sit there and listen to all the catching ups between bf and friends.

There are one hell of a bunch of funny people.

Then suddenly I miss my friends. Oh perigi...

We thought of going Henderson wave but some thought theres nothing much there so we decide to go to Kepple(couple) Bay.

It was gorgeous! The lights from across the sea which I was not too sure what was it at the other end.

Plenty of stupid jokes and laughter.

After awhile we saw a long sign [WILL YOU MARRY ME] at the end railings. (without the question mark!?) HAHAHAHAHAH. *nie kene pakser cakap YES ker?*

Awwwww.......someones getting married.

The guy shouts "She's my fiancée!"

And the crap continues...........my pipi pain siar laugh too much.

Then its time to head home and everyone goes on their separate ways.

Bukan selalu kan dapat macam gini, sekali-sekala boleh lah tu.

Hey wait tomorrow is 9th Aug right?

NATIONAL DAY & ..........................

Eeeerrrm, what was the other one ehk?

p.s: Someone is complaining that he can't see the time as he has no watch at the moment, hinting nampak?-_-"

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-08-06T16:26:00.000+08:00

black nails & new ring

Right after school we head to Vivo to get some 'important' thing for some 'important 'preparations.

Pay day mah, so spend a bit for love ones and pamper myself.

No harm done right?

My aim was to get a nice decent top for the 'day', the thing is I have no concept in mind.

Rarah kept asking me for what concept do I have in mine.

From Woodlands to Habour Front still none.

HAHAHAHHA.

I really really not good at this man.

We window shopped for awhile and I finally made up my mind and get this white top.

I hope it suits the occasion.

After all that hunting and decision making, HAHAHAH, Rarah had to head home cos she's excited to see what her dad got for her from K.L.

Bye Rarah.

Me all alone there waiting for bf to finish work.

Its been awhile since we last had dinner at Seah Imm.

Beef noodle!

Him : Did you get my message this morning?

Me : Yes I did. :)

Him : Did you get my another message?

Me : Which one? The one about the watch?

Him : The one asking you not to slouch. :)

Me : *sitting up straight immediately* teeeheehee

Even if it is the 109147254176519028593638 times he will always gonna keep reminding me to NOT TO SLOUCH.

As we were eating, sekali lagu Ku Tetap Kan Menunggu on air.

Romantic or what =P

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

We sat for awhile and its time to go.

While in the bus he texted me,

"Then Saturday I no watch how?"

-_-" Ngada-ngada ehk.

Who say I buy for you watch?

Eeeeeee, no shame, big boy as for present......

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-08-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

2010-08-04T15:54:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

Menyerlah betol kebodohan aku tu.

Sesungguhnya aku memang tak gunakan akal sebelum membuat sesuatu.

Shame on you syah!

xoxo,

stupid or whaat?!?

2010-08-03T15:40:00.000+08:00

For no fucking reasons I am feeling very !@#$%^&*().

It is indescribable.

Everything around me just irritates me so much that I went for lunch all by myself.

Alone.

I just don't wanna talk to anyone.

I sound pretty pathetic isn't it?

HAHAHAHAHHA

I don't fucking care.

When I got home I am so gonna pain my nails and make myself happy with whatever food or shop for something nice.

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot that today is already Tuesday and ....................................

*Panic! Panic!*

Now it's 3:35pm, what the hell am I still doing in school.

The class is watching SAW V, fuck lah!

I wanna vomit out my 'lunch'.

I think I shall make a move soon.

Hey tomorrow is Wednesday, why not sheesha today?

But with who ehk?

Boyfriend work, to have dinner with him at Seah Imm is impossible.

He's gonna have to rush for work after that.

Ahhh, forget it.

Let's shut down the lappy and head home baby.

Shall do my RJ at home with a better environment.

Toodles.

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-08-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

the shirt & our half cabs, nice.

As usual the cramps are here again to just spoil my day and make me stay at home on a Monday when I am suppose to be in school today.

I refrain myself from taking any Panadols today, I wanna try to 'survive' without them.

See how much I can endure but too bad it just kills me more than I think I could handle.

I just let it be and mum gave me a good massage.

The pain subsides a lil and I begin to toss and turn again and again and again for hours.

With Ria on air it just ease the pain a lil.

First was Kali Pertama then Rindu Setengah Mati then Kali Pertama again then Biarkan Aku Jatuh Cinta.

Waaah, that part I heart pain a bit. HAHAHAHAHHA.

I start to message bf randomly telling him about my pain and blablablabla.

I just need to pour it out to someone you see.

Who else if it's not him other than my 2 ladies kan....

Called up our family clinic to check if the gynecologist's available today.

Made the appointment and I had MY FIRST EVER ULTRA-SOUND SCAN.

The aunties and uncles in the clinic over heard my conversation about Ultra-sound scan at the registration counter and they thought I was pregnant.

BHAHAHAHHAAH.

The clinic assistant asked me to drink lots and lots of water and make bladder bloated enough to undergo the scan.

Mum bought a bottle of water chestnut, a bottle of H2O, a bottle of mineral water and a can of green tea.

I still felt normal.

This is taking me ages to feel the urge to pee.

I went in again with a bloated tummy instead.

I was practically amazed with what I say and I have a copy of the 'pictures' that she snapped.

Gave bf a quick update and alhamdulillah everything is fine.

No more worries about fibroid but I still have take necessary precautions.

I rest a lot today and the pain still lingers.

I love it when bf checked on me as and when he can during work.

Thank you dear.

He sounded a lil excited when I told him about the scan over the phone.

Macam nak dapat anak lah pulak kan....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now I'm waiting for him to get home and have our lil chat before I head to lala-land.

Night night.

Sleep tight all!

xoxo,

msbakthar.

2010-08-01T00:07:00.001+08:00

the Moos is EVERYWHERE!

2010-07-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

For God knows why I am just freaking lazy to go to work today.
This is not normal at all.
One possible reason is maybe because it is a SATURDAY and that place is gonna be super crowded with people whom you don't wish to face.
The whole 5 hours facing them and they said something to me and in my heart I was like saying to myself "You shut the hell up, I know how to do my work, don't try to teach me aight....."
Really you know.....
I am super fed up with some people who are trying to teach me how to do my job.
Are you my supervisor or manager by the way.
I only take orders from them and not you.
Fuck lah with "Customer is always right..."
Enough with work.
So, in the morning they hit me back and hell yeah, this is gonna be awesome.
I am just counting down the days and hoping that everything will proceed accordingly and well.
The things is, I have some missing items that I have yet to buy.
Damn!
What to wear?
Oh gosh.
Let's not get all stressed up about this cause it is suppose to be a fun thing isn't it?
Today I am being very random and do bare with me.
Lately I've found out that I have an avid reader!
Yeay! Thanks for reading hor.
FYI, I took almost the whole afternoon to finish up this post. HAHAHAHAHHA.
So many distractions lah.
Food, FB, the tilam, phone calls. Blablablabla.
See I told ya, I tend to forget or drag one thing when I'm doing the other.
And the chain goes on and on.
Just had a convo with bf : /
Let's just keep it to myself shall we....
Mum had been layan-ing her drama at TV3.my since 8pm, dad had been asleep right after his I'syak and baby bro just dooze of right after his home from he's YOG thingy and his late dinner.
I think I am having the best Saturday ever. HAHAHAHAHAH.
Seriously, today I am being so random.
I am soooo gonna sleep like a pig tonight and wake up late tomorrow.
Its been awhile since I last did that.
NAK BALAS DENDAM.
So now, what shall I do tomorrow other than rotting in my room?
Mum. please don't get mad at me for being the most laziest daughter just for this Sunday.
Pleaaaassseeeeee......

xoxo,
msbakthar.

2010-07-30T00:04:00.000+08:00

Thank you love!

You can't stop me from getting a skate shoe after all.

I'm loving it!

Right after purchasing, I wore the new pair and hold on to my Blue.As in my hands.

We walk towards the bin in Far East and I was freakingly half-heartedly putting the shoes half-way through the bin.
I seriously felt like crying.
I just let go the shoes one by one into the bin and said "Dah jom jom jom....I don't wanna look back."
Bf has his very own pair, same one.
So the conclusion here is that you and me must wear the same pair one fine day aight.
And the moral of the story is, DO NOT WASH YOUR SHOES FOR 3 YEARS OR SO. -_-"
Thank you.

xoxo,
new Half Cab lover.

2010-07-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

Wishes after wishes.
Posts after posts.
Thank you to all.
The fun begin.
Love surprised me with a red rose, appearing out of nowhere earlier then we are suppose to.
Thanks to my deary friend, the surprise works.
I almost melt down on my knees to see how hot he was in that top.
I like.
We took the train to our first date location, B&J @ The Cathay.
We ate double cookies (A cookie affair & cookie dough).
Met Jaja & Yat.
Next was Bugis, a romantic Arabian restaurant.
I was speechless as I’ve never been to one before.
The ambiance was priceless.
He had roasted lamb and I had Mousakka.
Caesar salad and calamari for appetizer.
Mix fruit Shisha to complete the dinner.
It was simple yet sweet and priceless moments with you.
Thank you love.
Let’s do this again.

p.s: Next up, your Birthday! I shall do my planning now.

xoxo,
msB 21.

2010-07-19T00:00:00.000+08:00

It's not like you get to see it everyday

HAPPY 21ST Siti Aisyah Bte Aziz

2010-07-18T01:14:00.000+08:00

I shall wait till Monday then.

2010-07-12T23:11:00.001+08:00

I wore heels.

Nice ladies top.

Dangling earrings.

Chain like necklace.

Perm hair.

I felt special that day.

But the day doesn't ends well.

I hope its a blessing in disguise.

I'm gonna be a 21 year old lady soon.

So, I have to start to behave like one.

xoxo,

msB.

2010-07-10T02:27:00.000+08:00

Babe, rock the stage like you should aight.

I'm not there to watch you.

Damn!

2010-07-08T00:33:00.000+08:00

Rarah once told me;

When a girl does a major change to her hair it means that she wants to start a fresh.

True?

I think so.

2010-07-06T01:24:00.001+08:00

Its been awhile since I last crying so bad for something important.
I am crashing all my words into my report.
This is a matter of life and death.
Adding to that its been more than a week since I last met bf.
This is just not helping at all.
I admit I am jealous to see friends with their bf around and get to meet regularly while I don't.
I have to understand his situation.
I have to be strong.
Maybe this is just a part of what I have to go through in life.
By the way, when I was about to start writing on my report and continue from where I stopped, I realised that the document that I opened up was not the latest one that I had already updated.
It was the old one.
I felt fucking helpless and broke down.
My hard work for the past few days just gone down the drain.
That is where I just need you even more.
Mum kept asking me whether am I ok or not when she knows something is not right.
I just don't feel like eating anything but to just continue with my words on the report.
Am I exaggerating?
Or maybe this is really what I felt.
Different people have their own ways of handling situations.
Well, this is how I did it.
So for you readers out there who can't stand with my complains and 'depressed' descriptions, you are most welcome to just click the X icon on your top right hand corner as
I DON'T FUCKING CARE FOR WHAT YOU THINK OF WHAT I BLOG ABOUT!
SO DON'T FUCKING WASTE YOUR TIME!

xoxo,
emotionally unstable.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-07-05T19:34:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

It had been more than a week since we last met.

I really need a warm hug from you.

I miss you.

I hate it when we had a slight misunderstanding and didn't meet up.

It will just bother me day and night till the day we meet.

My eyes hurt real bad.

Gosh.

xoxo,

meet you soon.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-07-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

The song just had to be on air the minute I put my butt down in front of the laptop.

God.

xoxo,

imy.

2010-07-01T00:07:00.000+08:00

Lu jangan banyak bunyik, biar gua terbangkan untuk lu.

Ok?

2010-06-28T22:47:00.002+08:00

From the Right : Tukang Gulong, Tukang Tarik & Tukang Tengok

2010-06-28T18:21:00.001+08:00

I was 45++ kg in this picture.

But now I'm 47kg!

Oh no.

This is not happening man.

I need to go for a jog and need to do it constantly like I used to.

All this is due to the 'just-sit-and-do-work' routine that I am having.

I am so gonna fight for that number 45 back.

I even borrowed books on Eating Disorders.

Just wanna educate myself.

I don't wanna end up looking like a skeleton by the end of the month.

You are not aware with such disorders you see.

So before I go crazy about my weight I better control and educate myself to compose myself and deal with it slowly.

Ok go!

Let's do this.

xoxo,

fat cheeks.

2010-06-27T12:50:00.000+08:00

beaching with the girls and love was awesome.

more pictures to come.

see FB.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-06-26T00:57:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

Baby, you look hot in that jacket.

Thanks for the car.

I finally get to drive you around.

Ok maybe just around Tampines and Bedok.

You were bloody patient with me.

I might not be the best driver yet but I do hope that I'm not the worst driver a life.

xoxo,

your Ma'am.

2010-06-24T15:54:00.001+08:00

Things had been going well for me these few days.

FYP report is in progress.

More time to do everything that I am suppose to.

Taking things slow and steady.

Shocking news came along to test my ability to accept the fact.

I'm cool.

Need to concentrate more on my studies now cos' I think I did badly for my previous test.

Nevertheless, let's look on the brighter side.

I am progressing back on my studies.

I should do with more effort for the next test.

As for this weekend I am gonna have a whole lot of fun with my girls at the beach.

Gonna be driving there thanks to love who rent the car for me.

I am gonna drive safely, I promise.

Presents and food for the weekend.

Let's go hunting for that shall we.

p.s : can't wait for tomorrow deary.

xoxo,

msbakthar.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-06-22T22:54:00.002+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

Bape shirt and baggy jeans; every girls in the club would wanna dance with him but he choose me.
Well, that's my love.

2010-06-21T14:12:00.000+08:00

The next time Farah will fill up the space in the picture aight.

Awesome trip.

Go again, go again!

2010-06-16T11:31:00.002+08:00

2010-06-14T19:30:00.000+08:00

All I can give you back in return is my driving license; Happy Belated Birthday Abah.

I know you are proud of me; I'm proud to have a dad like you.

Thank you Abah.

2010-06-07T15:45:00.000+08:00

The man behind the scene who gave me much support and wise words to bring us up without him around.

There's so much to thank for and so many words to say.

Through my actions, I hope you can see my appreciation towards whatever that you've taught me.

Now let's make time for us.

We have a lot of catching up to do.

p.s: Jom fly kite lagi.....

xoxo,

your dearest.

2010-06-07T00:44:00.002+08:00

050610

After 3 years of not giving up,

We finally got the 3rd placing,

for Suara Serumpun 3.

We trained hard for 3 freaking weeks,

With 3 men down we still put up the fighting spirit.

On the day itself we reported at the CC at 3pm,

as we are the 3rd group to perform.

While on our way there, our dearest head gave us 3 pre-comp snacks to cheer us up.

What adds on to the enthusiasm in us is that all 3 instructors were there to support us on stage.

It took our reban-ist 3 weeks to learn the beats.

It took our marakas-ist 3 days to complete the percussion side.

It took some of our awok-awok 3 years to be able to sit at the back row.

It took 3 years for our initial juara to be sitting with the awok-awok.

In our set, we have 3 paragraphs for patani.

It took me 3 secs to absorb that we are in the 3rd placing.

It had been 3 days after our birthday.

And this is truly the best 3rd birthday gift ever.

p.s: all the 3 AISYAHs were there; and the 3 best-friends just stick like glue.

aeisHa`B sayang Endang.

xoxo,

your beloved karot.

Red Cheeks♥

2010-06-06T07:36:00.000+08:00

Red Cheeks♥

You gave me a standing ovation;

The best thing ever.

Thank you precious one.

2010-05-27T13:41:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 44TH BIRTHDAY MAMA!

Some thinks she's my sister.

Some thinks that she's still a young teen.

Oh gosh.

Abah is so lucky to have her.

She's a very strong person indeed.
She'e been through a lot in her life.
Lately she's been sick and to know that fact that she's laughing a lot more now lightens up the worrying.
For whatever she cook and done for us at home is something that I will appreciate for the rest of my life.
I want to be like her.
I want to lead my future family like how she did in this family.
It is amazing how she brought me up from a huge heavy bundle of joy to a lollipop stick look-a-like.
You never compare me with any other kids.
You love me and adek equally.
Every time when I come home and standing at the door to come in you will always say "Ehk dah balik?"
Then I will answer back jokingly "Ehk takdelah belum, masih kat MRT nie..."
When you are in the dapur you would go "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! Oh Biiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"
You call for me so loud I think our neighbours can hear you.
Even in front of my friends you would call me B.
In your eyes I'm always your lil baby girl, kan?
You've yet to take a picture with my giant poster mummy.
Without you, no one will iron my samping, tanjak and costumes nicely.
Without you, I wouldn't have customized Baju Kurung for Hari Raya.
Without you, I wouldn't know how to be a girl.
You've taught me to appreciate life and for whatever God has for us.
I did mistakes in life along the way.
You were there patiently to correct me.
I regret for those days that I made you stress out and broke down.
You have such a fragile heart that even the smallest things can hurt you deeply.
Those days when you sulk when I did something that you dislike I seriously felt helpless.
I start to do house chores seriously and willingly only when I'm 19.
Gosh....
You are really patient with me.
I promise from now onwards I am not gonna leave you with the house chores all by yourself and I am going to say thank you for every small things that you do for the whole family.
To us our mum is like a lil girl.
I love you Mama.

xoxo,
your B.

2010-05-27T12:04:00.000+08:00

Bye Singapore, Honeymoon with the ladies is so gonna be fun.

11th June 2010

2010-05-27T11:59:00.001+08:00

So many things went rushing into my mind thinking of what had probably happened at home the moment mum called asking me to get home quick.

My heart just kept pumping hard than it ever did.
I was worrying along the way and my knees felt weak.
From far I saw my uncles and aunties streaming into my house.
This just doubles up my worries.
Went into the house and settle down for a bit before I could clarify things.
What on Earth had just happened?
Mum called me into her room and she told me everything.
I was pretty much relieve because it was nothing very serious but it is very worrying.
My cutest granddad on Earth is loosing some of himself.
He tend forgrt things and he is not acting as normal.
I'm just afraid that one day he might just forgotten who I am.
He makes jokes that I can really laugh at because he did it in his own way only I understand what he meant.
I am so not ready for anything worst than that to happen.
I know it is unavoidable but then as for now I am just afraid to loose him in anyway.
Every morning he will pretend to sleep after his breakfast and waited for me in his bed for me to say bye to him and inform him that I'm off to school.
He will always praise me whenever I dress nicely to school.
He will praise me for being so nice when I'm off to work.
He will smile from ear to ear when he sees me in tudung.
He will say "Wah Siti Aisyah.....Abah ingat Ustazah mana lah tadi....."
He will always call me by my full name Siti Aisyah.
I'm truly proud of that name.
I think by calling me that just reminds him of his late sister.
We share the same name.
I miss him a lot even if we are staying in the same house.
He would wake up in the middle of the night just to check if I'm home yet.
There's once he woke up and waited for me to finish up my super late dinner when everyone else is fast asleep.
I'm really touched.
Sometimes I regret being too busy and forgot all about him.
He would story tell at times about how my great-grand-dad who is an Arab from Yemen came to Singapore and settled down at the Istana Kampong Glam residential area in the past.
He would tell us his experience at Mecca with late granny.
He will wake up in the wee hours to solat and mengaji softly in his room.
I'm very proud to be his grand-daughter.
I hope that if anything happens, be it good or bad, I'm there for him throughout.
Throughout.

xoxo,
Siti Aisyah.

2010-05-20T21:54:00.002+08:00

Hate to think about what to wear for school tomorrow

2010-05-20T15:59:00.002+08:00

2010-05-20T15:52:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry if I'm being to harsh on you but I just can't keep things anymore.

You know how much I dislike you are being right now.

Still I accept you because I love you.

We grow up together and to see you not being what you used to is a major heart pain for me.

I think I cared too much for you when you already have someone special to give you much care.

I've been keeping this deep down for too long to the extend of bursting.

I just burst once in a while.

When we meet, I'm sure things are gonna be alright.

I missed you and the only way I can see you is to meet up.

That only happens like what, once in a blue-moon?

Why would I be searching for you if I don't bother?

Did you ever think about it?

I felt like as if I don't exist.

Well, I've lost 2 friends that I've shared my love and care with all my heart.

I just can't accept the fact if we were to become strangers.

I seriously don't wanna loose you.

I had enough.

I've learnt from my history.

xoxo,

your lil' girl.

2010-05-17T23:31:00.002+08:00

Doing my regular journal writing using the main PC in the hall.
Everybody is asleep now and I'm always the only person left awake.
Mum is not doing too good lately.
She's been having that itchiness and difficulty to sleep again.
She can't a lot of things and been trying many different kind of supplements but nothing seems to be working.
I felt helpless.
All I can do is to help around in the house and attend to her when she calls for me.
When she's happy, she will really laugh and smile.
But when she's upset and has no mood, she will really be very emotional.
I just don't know what else to do.
As much as possible I want to see her happy and live life as per normal.
Get her things like ice-cream, McDonald meals, family time, mother daughter chat and just simply watch TV with her just to hear her laugh.
It breaks my heart to see her cry because of the itch and red scratches all over her body.
Even the doctors have nothing to conclude after every check-ups that she went for the past months.
First it was the cough.
Now this.
Worried day and night.
But one thing for sure is that I can see the family bonding between us are getting better than ever before.
Looking on the brighter side of it I am treasuring every single moment of it.
We just had Swensen's for dinner the other day celebrating Mother's Day cum Mama's 46th Advance Birthday celebration.
The whole family loves it and we definitely had fun.
Mama and abah are like teen couples that day.
We had Earthquake for dessert and it sure brings back the old times way before baby bro was around.
I hope that mama would stay strong throughout and never give up.
Always stay positive no matter what.
She have the whole lot of us to stand by her side.
Sometimes such things doesn't have to be too obvious to notice.
It just comes naturally.

xoxo,
your only Daughter.

2010-05-17T13:28:00.000+08:00

2010-05-17T10:46:00.001+08:00

2010-05-16T23:05:00.000+08:00

2010-05-16T22:29:00.002+08:00

2010-05-16T22:08:00.000+08:00

I might not be like the other girls out there with makeup and nice dresses

but I'll always be the Greek goddess in my own ways.

2010-05-15T19:41:00.002+08:00

2010-05-13T13:56:00.002+08:00

2010-05-13T10:17:00.000+08:00

2010-05-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

9th May 2010

It is certainly a day to remember.

We went through shit & awesome days way before this.

One after another.

We grew stronger each day we meet.

It nearly didn't happened due to some problems.

Those lovely men are always there to push us through.

At times we might hate them but without realizing they are actually helping us to be better.

Be thankful to them.

Without them there's no us.

Know your roots and know where you stand before this.

Don't get too high up in the sky because once you fall, you'll gonna get hurt really bad.

Whatever results we get be thankful to it because there's always reasons behind it.

Ladies, please be humble.

Ladies, please don't be too satisfied with what we've achieved.

Ladies, we still have a very long way to go.

To reach to the top is difficult.

To stay there is double the work.

Each time we achieve, the greater the responsibility is and the greater the expectations are.

May 2010 be a year for us to be proud of and remember.

Another chapter in Endang's history.

Selembut Sutera Kekata Ninda Lemah Gemalai Endang Bersuara

xoxo,

aeisHa`B